So hello everyone, as you can probably guess I am a nobody & yet you still chose to read this, for that alone I am grateful. This is my first time writing something like a blog. This is my first time hearing & trying about wordpress.com & this is actually the first time I’ve engaged myself in this kind of thing, so please go easy on me & if you may leave some tips & comments here that would be very much appreciated.
There’s not much to write really. I haven’t thought up of any particularly audacious, ominous & interesting topic for the moment & I just decided to write this blog in order to depict my complete & utter aloofness on this threshold that I have stepped upon. In other words I am completely baffled as to where I should start & how should I end, because I have no idea & as I am writing, this as you can already tell, I am writing this as freely & as feebly as a stray dog who haven’t eaten in weeks.
So since I don’t know where to start I decided to write my first time here & my first time in creating a blog: THIS BLOG. In all honesty I am quite excited by the mere fact that I am writing. As a child I have always had this sort of connection with writing, expressing my thoughts, my ideas & myself to the vast majority of anonymous people, a passion you may call it, yet as the time flew by I simply was unable to find a good outlet where people could read what I wrote, to receive criticisms (whether good or bad or simply ludicrous & painful in nature wouldn’t matter to me) that I think my writing have become obsolete, left in a dilapidated state of negligence by boastfulness, not in public, but inside my head.
In order for you, my dear readers, to further understand what I’m gabbing about, I will share some of my life experiences in accordance with my passion, writing & speaking (also reading but there is not much to share about how I read & what I read, I’ll share that some other time). When I was still in my high school years I was the best debater for inter-high competitions & I won that title 3 times consecutively until I graduated. No one was able to stop my spree & I, just being honest, felt like a very smart & audacious person. I have also written more than 60 poems in which people have deemed them to be perfect.
But in the later years I realized I was living in a fairy tale & sadly I was awakened by a disturbing truth, I was no longer known, or in a sense, famous. People forgot who I was, people forgot what I did, what I achieved & those that I have created & then for the first time in my life, I felt so abhorrent & stupid that I thought of myself as a worthless buffoon. I lost my passion. My reading, my writing, my speaking, they were GONE. I drank booze a lot, I drank to my heart’s content, I drowned myself within the night of drunkenness to drown the feeling of despair & loneliness. I thought of burning all of my poems, my trophies & my medals, but at that very moment something popped up in my head, I WAS DOING ALL OF THOSE THINGS FOR THEM & NOT FOR MYSELF. It hit me like a ten wheeler truck running 210mph. I sat down, recomposed myself & then I started once again, in a very long time, to write.
After that moment of epiphany I have awaken once again the dormant giant that is sleeping within me, my passion, I’ve found it again & I held it tight like a husband who so dearly longed & yearned for his wife. Now I am living my life happily & positively, I do things for myself now & not for others. I’ve realized something in which I’m constantly learning to do in my everyday life, it is THE TIME WHEN YOU ARE TRULY DOING THINGS FOR OTHER PEOPLE, IS THE TIME WHEN YOU ARE GENUINELY HELPING THEM BECOME BETTER. We often mistake the concept of showing off & helping. Most of the time we do things to impress other people more than we do things to help them. We give ourselves a false pretense that we are HELPING but deep down in the dark recesses of our ambiguous minds, we are SHOWING off, to impress those who sees us help, to be named kind & sincere but doing it in order to stay within the spotlight.
Now I have a work, though I haven’t finished my degree in college yet (I plan to finish it someday because I stopped) I find my work fun, happy & fulfilling. I work as an ESL Teacher & the experience, as of the moment, is indeed gratifying. I love speaking, a perfect avenue to use my talent & share it with others. I love writing & reading, which I do most of the time in my free time (which I am currently having now :D), I could say that all’s well that ends well. 🙂
Sorry if my timetable of my story is a little off, please do excuse it, it is my first time writing a blog & it also my first time in a long time to write something this long. I hope that you enjoyed reading this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it. Though this is all simply monologuing, I thank you so much for having to spare time in reading my post. To end, I would like to leave all of you with a “See you again” message. EHEM! As the curtain closes for thyself, I thank thee all for having spent time with my creation. I thank thee for the humble audience bestowed upon me, your humble newbie blogger. Te revidere mea amabilis auditi. 🙂