Am I really a writer? This question has been bugging me for a few times now. Is writing really my calling? Is it really my purpose? Is writing truly my God given talent? These are questions that I have no solid answer in.
I am starting to have doubts if I am truly cut out for this kind of endeavor. There are certain factors to support my doubt:
• I don’t have a lot of followers.
• The “likes” that I get are getting lower & lower.
• I think some of the people who follow me have little to no interest about my creations.
• I think the things I write are irrelevant & uninteresting to people.
I have truly been trying my hardest to be positive despite these factors but I won’t lie anymore, they have gotten to me.
They have gripped my leg like a bear trap ensnaring & crippling me.
I really love writing! Writing is not just a hobby for me, it’s a way of life for me. I may not always be online every single day (that’s because I don’t have a PC, I simply use public computers) but I make it a point, despite I’ve the business in my life lately, to always write. It took me a lot of courage to post my poems, to post my thoughts about life & everything but I think my efforts have been for naught, because the results that I have been having are less than gratifying.
I feel sad, unwanted, irrelevant, unneeded, & dismembered. My whole being is crying in pain, my whole being is questioning me: “Should we continue? Should we continue? We aren’t getting anywhere, nobody even likes what we write, this will only make us blue!”.
I’m sorry to all of you who took the time to read this because I know it sounds like I am bitching about my life. Please pardon me, I simply want to express myself.
To all those who have felt this way, to all those who are going through this same road, I thank you so much for reading this & sharing your thoughts about it. Thank you so much.