Alone, loneliness, lonely, Losing Someone, messy relationships, poem, Poetry

(1 verse, 4 lines) – #14

I’ve lost plenty of loved ones in my life.
They didn’t passed away, they simply became someone else’s wife.
Now I realize that all of this strife,
Is something I must face in solitude, with no one by my side.

change in people, Giving Up, honesty, messy relationships, poem, Poetry, reality, Youth

What Happened To Me?

I wonder what happened to me, not to us.
We’ve fought a lot as we travelled inside this bitter-sweet bus.
We’ve experienced every emotion it has to offer us.
From feelings of anxiety and fuss,
To feelings of love and lust.

It has been a crazy ride
as we tumble and rise against the tide.
And even though times can get pretty rough,
I regret nothing and I do not regret our love.

But I do question some things from time to time.
Like what happened to me all this time?
Have I changed so much that I didn’t notice it?
I’m beginning to question the mirror and the person inside it.

I’ve been asking myself about what I truly feel.
Like how is it that I love you, but why does it seem unreal?
How is it that I love you, but I’m not crazy about you anymore?
How is it that I hate you, but at the same time someone I adore?

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not choosing other people over you.
Trust me when I say that my love for you is stronger than ten to the power of two.
And I haven’t fallen in love with someone else or anything of that sort.
And if someone else fell in love with me,
All they’d get is my “NO” and abrupt retort.

I love you so much even words can’t describe it.
But I’m not crazy in love the way you are to me.
I wouldn’t really fret about it even a bit,
But I found this “crazy in love” a problem you see.

If I’m going to be honest, I feel bad about myself.
Like how am I not crazy about you when you’re the person I love the most?
I’m like your symbiotic parasite and you are my host.
Yet why am I not head over heels for you and that’s why I am at a loss.

Loss for words on how to justify what I feel.
If I’m not crazy for you, then how can I prove that my love is real?
Maybe that’s why we still haven’t compromised after six long years.
Maybe that’s why we still bicker about the same things I tire to hear.

I hate myself for not being able to love you back like I should.
I wish I can be an expressive lover like you, I really wish I could.
That way, you’ll stop doubting my love and everything would be good.
But I am not like that and I loathe myself because I’m not doing what a “good lover” should.

But despite all of my shortcomings, you’re still here to stay.
You’re still with me and you always make it a point to call me everyday.
I know I should be happy, but I’m honestly not.
I feel like everything is welling up towards a sickening plot.

You have been a very good partner and you’re the best one I’ve had so far.
But I can’t help but think that you and I are not on par.

I don’t deserve someone like you, I don’t deserve the love you have to give.
An amazing, beautiful and loving person like you shouldn’t be trapped to live
In this shitty life and with a shitty guy like me.
That’s why every so often when I pray,
I ask God to take you away
And find you someone else who is worthy.
I pray to God that you’ll find someone better than me.

Broken Hearted, Depression, messy relationships, poem, Poetry, reality, tired of people

I Can’t Take This Anymore

Do you know what it feels to be ripped apart?
Like having your guts turned inside out?
I bet you never experienced the truest feeling of a broken heart.
How could you feel it, when you’re the one constantly dishing out.

Dishing out pain and misery, making ourselves gloomy.
You claim that those thoughts just come out and you can’t control it.
Like the rising tides, for you those emotions are a part normality.
Though I knew you were consumed by your chaotic habits,
I still mistook your insanity as a thing of beauty.

But now I see that this just can’t be.
I can’t live with you and you can’t live with me.
A life with you would only be a tragedy
And I would sacrifice temporal bliss to become genuinely happy.

You see me as the one at fault, you see me as the enemy.
You see me as the one who corrupted your joyful memory.
You see me as the one who caused you so much envy.
You see me as the one who betrayed your trust as a partner and family.

You keep bringing up the past as if those memories could last.
Yet you seem to have forgotten a simple fact you don’t want to grasp.
The fact that you control what your mind entertains.
You can’t control what comes to it, but you can choose which thoughts to keep or flush down the drain.

You keep on demonizing me for mistakes that weren’t even that bad.
You keep complaining about your heartache and that I’m just like my dad.
You keep on killing me with the words you say.
Yet you act like you’re the one who’s the victim every single day.

It’s not like I cheated on you and had sex with someone else.
Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re a scorpio which makes you super intuitive, right?
So answer me this, how many times have I, without a doubt cheated, do you have a guess?
The answer is zero, you poisonous arachnid trite.

Yeah I talk to girls and yes, I’ve sent a text message to a girl with a kiss.
Now I’m not trying to cover myself, but to be fair,
She was my best friend’s nephew and I simply thought of her as a little sis.
It’s not like I had a plan to bang her, like that would be disgusting.
I’d feel like I was having sex with my best dude like brokeback mountain.
But we’re not done yet, oh you still have some flair.
You even took the liberty to say you spoiled my unfaithful intentions as if it was there.

Well now it’s time to shut up girl, I’m tired of your nagging.
It’s time we faced the music because we had this one coming.
We tried to fix it and there were times we thought we could.
But this never ending cycle is the biggest proof that we’re better off alone as we should.

Losing Someone, messy relationships, Poetry, Uncategorized

Go On And Move On


Go on and live your life, don’t worry about me.
Go ahead and move on and focus on being happy.
Don’t mind me because I’m used to being lonely.
I’m used to keeping misery as my own company.

Don’t think about the nights that we spent cuddling.
Don’t think about the days that we wasted hugging.
Forget about the times in which we both were laughing
And don’t even recall all the moments that we were loving.

Loving each other and being in each other’s arms.
Erase those memories when we protected each other from harm.
Obliterate those thoughts that we treated each other like charms.
Go ahead and find yourself a greener pasture and a farm.

Don’t wallow in our past that was filled with love.
Filled with hugs and kisses which was a gift from above.
Go ahead and fly like a beautiful little dove
And let me drown in my sorrows ’cause they fit just like a glove.

messy relationships, Poetry

Stay Back


I. Shouldn’t. Be loved.

That’s right everyone.

I should be left alone

And people should look at me with disgust.

Why? Oh, that’s simple:

I’ll just end up hurting you.

Yeah, I’ll imprint you with “boo-hoos”

‘Cause I’m the king of blues.

You’d want to stay away from me

And you’d want to put a lock around your heart.

‘Cause once you fall in love lady,

I’ll only rip your blood-pumping bosom apart.

I’ll give you the reasons to leave me be:

One: You’ll only be drowned with insecurity.

‘Cause I look at other women and I can appreciate their beauty.

You’ll only feel that you’re not the one who makes me happy.

Two: You’ll only feel like you’re not the ideal woman

And that I’ll later leave with someone.

Three: You’ll end being a paranoid and

A schizophrenic individual on the other hand.

Yeah, that’s right.

We’ll only end up in plight.

Everyday would be a ridiculous trite.

Four: We’re only going to have a 24/7 articulate fight.

Five: Your case will only worsen ’cause I got a lot of friends.

And I mean girls, who are a friend of mine

Or a new acquaintance introduced by someone else.

You’ll end up thinking I no longer have time.

Time for you and time for us.

When in reality, it’s always been about us.

I’d never cheat on you and never betray you.

I’d show you everyday that I mean it when I call you “Boo.”

But by now, that wouldn’t even matter.

‘Cause your doubts are probably better.

You’ll be focusing on it and this is reason number six,

You’ll forget we have a relationship to fix.

Seven: Despite my efforts to turn your frown upside down,

You won’t believe me and you’ll think that

I’m an evil back stabbing clown.

As if I didn’t do my best to keep you from drowning.

I’ve apologized my heart out and you still think that I’m lying.

Eight: In the end you’ll feel alone.

That’s probably ’cause I’ve left and I’ve gone.

‘Cause I probably couldn’t take it anymore.

The senseless fights,

The cold and lonely nights,

And I probably grew tired of sleeping on the floor.

I probably wouldn’t know what to say anymore,

Just so I could prove I was still on your side.

I probably became a person you despised.

I guess… it’s me who’s always wrong.

But things weren’t supposed to be like this,

This was not the plan.

We were supposed to be filled with bliss

And you would understand me for the way I am.

And I’d understand you too, we’d understand each other.

We were supposed to be the world’s greatest lovers.

But… I guess we can’t be that because it’s over.

So, to the girl who loves me

And to the girl who’ll love me in the future;

Stop right now and get away from me.

I don’t want your heart to become a sad overture.